I am better than you
by jy24
Summary: Being who he is, Lavi was lazy with his duties but wants to have fun. So when he sees his latest victim, what kind of chaos will the Order has to clean up later? (Something to make up your day.) Inspired by 'Anything you can do I can do better.'


Lavi was feeling bored; he was hiding from Bookman so that he doesn't have to be forced to study all day long in the dusty old library that no one seem to care if it was covered in dust. So far Bookman hasn't come looking for him so he was either somewhere else attending his duties or just waiting to pounce poor little Lavi when he gets out of hiding. The latter seems more convincing to Lavi but either way he was bored and couldn't find Kanda to annoy the heck out of.

While silently walking along the hallway, he was thinking about looking to hang out with Lenalee. She could be delivering coffee to the supervisor so Lavi went to the direction to Komui's office. He was about to open the huge double door when a scream sounded coming from the said office followed by numerous breaking noises and shuffling. Komui was at it again and the whole Science Department was trying to stop his crazy experiments. On second thought, he values his life so onto his search to vanquish his boredom.

In his sneaky search to find his latest victim, he stumbled upon the cafeteria and a mischief grin made known on his pretty face. There is one person he knew can always be found here. Without further ado, he walks in and immediately spotted the familiar white mop of hair among the dirty dishes stacked around the table. The watchdog was not far behind his target so it should be a lot of fun.

Lavi jumps onto the empty seat beside Allen and snaked his arm around the petite shoulder, gaining a startled look from Allen before he went back on staffing his face.

"Oh come on, Shortstack! Quit ignoring me~!" The whining was irritating but Allen knew the consequence of it if he answers back. "Come on~, don't you miss the awesome me and my pretty face?" Allen almost gag at that statement, almost. Link was unaffected when he was also addressed as 'Two-spots', although he couldn't stop twitching at the nickname the redhead gave him.

Occasionally Lavi would try to pick something from Allen's dishes and his hand would always be slapped away without batting an eye from Allen. He tried and tried and Allen slapped and slapped again and again. He could have sworn that Allen doesn't even need to look where his hands were to slap them away as if his hands knew where to attack the intruders.

Thinking up another plan to annoy the little guy, Lavi came up with a devious plan. Something that would always rile up the younger teen for sure. Knowing that he was crossing dangerous territory, he hopes that it was worth it in the end.

"You know, Beansprout? Sometimes I think I defeat more Akumas than you on missions. Who knows, maybe I could make more money than you if Cross ever gives me his debts." Allen stopped eating at some point, he was glaring at Lavi. He faced the redhead with his arms crossed in front of his chest as if to challenge him. Lavi inwardly grinned, his plan worked!

"And pray tell, what can you do that's better than me?" It was futile to back out, he has his dignity to uphold and no way was he going to look like a wuss in front of Lavi of all people. He was sure that no one other than him could survive being under Cross's teaching and he was going to keep it that way.

"Well, I can do lots of things that you can't do." Being as vague as ever, everyone in the cafeteria could feel the changes in the atmosphere and stared at the two Exorcists wondering what they were up to again. Allen then smirked before standing up facing Lavi who also stood up when he did.

 **Allen:**

 **Anything you can do I can do better.**

 **Lavi:**

 **Ha!** (Lavi noticed that it was starting to sound like he was singing but he didn't care when he was starting to feel a bit of fun coming to his way.)

 **Allen:**

 **I can do anything better than you.**

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can, yes I can~.** (Yep, he was singing.)

 **Lavi:**

 **Anything you can be I can be greater,**

 **sooner or later I'm greater than you.**

 **Allen:**

 **No you're not,**

 **Lavi:**

 **Yes, I am.**

 **Allen:**

 **No you're not,**

 **Lavi:**

 **Yes, I am.**

 **Allen:**

 **No you're not,**

 **Lavi:**

 **Yes, I am,**

 **Yes, I am~.** (Everyone in the cafeteria or was walking nearby turned to watch to duo contradicting each other every so often. Even Jerry looked out from his counter to listen to their strange singing argument.)

 **I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge.**

 **Allen:**

 **I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow.**

 **Lavi:**

 **I can live on bread and cheese.**

 **Allen:**

 **And only on that?**

 **Lavi:**

 **Yep~.**

 **Allen:**

 **So can a rat.** (Lavi almost fell on that comeback, he didn't think that his own words would backfire at him like that. Sniggers could be heard from all around them.)

 **Lavi:**

 **Any note you can sing I can sing higher.**

 **Allen:**

 **I can sing any note higher than you.**

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi(high):**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen(high):**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi(higher):**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen(higher):**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi (even higher) /Allen(highest):**

 **No you can't, / Yes, I can~!** (While Allen sang the last high note, glasses that were close to his proximity shattered into millions of pieces. Jerry wailed in the background.)

 **Lavi:**

 **How do you sing that high?** (He was sure that no living male could pull that out like any female singer.)

 **Allen:**

 **Trust me, you don't want to know.** (Their surroundings turned deadly silent, no one really wants to know what Allen had to do with that voice of his. Lavi was staring at him confusingly, thinking that maybe he should just go with something to do with Allen having a feminine body…yeah, just leave it at that.)

 **Lavi:**

 **Anything you can say I can say it softer.**

 **Allen:**

 **I can say anything softer than you.**

 **Lavi(soft):**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen(soft):**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi(softer):**

 **No, you can't,** (Everyone strained their ears to hear what they were saying when it was almost becoming whispers with how soft they were saying.)

 **Allen (softer, LOUD):**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **YES, I CAN!** (Lavi's eardrum almost split with how loud Allen suddenly shouted at his ear. He was so going to get him back for it.)

 **Lavi:**

 **I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker.**

 **Allen:**

 **I can drink it quicker and get even sicker.**

 **Lavi:**

 **I can open any safe.**

 **Allen:**

 **Without being caught?**

 **Lavi:**

 **You bet.**

 **Allen:**

 **That's what I thought, you crook.** (Lots of Finders and scientists watched suspiciously at Lavi which made the redhead feeling that he shouldn't have said that. He quickly thought of something else and came up with one.)

 **Lavi:**

 **Any note you can hold I can hold longer.**

 **Allen:**

 **I can hold any note longer than you.**

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can**

 **Lavi(long):**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen(long):**

 **Yes, I can**

 **Lavi(longer)/ Allen(longer):**

 **No you can't, /Yes, I can.**

 **Allen(longest):**

 **Yes, I-** (20 seconds later) **-I can!**

 **Lavi:**

 **Yes, you can!** (He was impressed with how long Allen could hold, but he also noted how exhausted Allen looked in the end.)

 **Where do you keep all that air?**

His answer came in a form of a face that said 'Did you just seriously asked me that?'. Man, what did Cross made Allen do during their travels? Lavi suddenly feel glad to not have to pay any Cross's debts.

 **Lavi:**

 **Anything you can say I can say faster.**

 **Allen:**

 **I can say anything faster than you.**

 **Lavi(fast):**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen(fast):**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi (sounded like a squeak):**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen (sounded like a squeak):**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi (too quick to catch up):**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen (too quick to catch up):**

 **Yes, I can.**

All the spectators were confused as how they were able to hear what the other was saying but they continue to watch how one of them is going to outmatch the other.

 **Lavi:**

 **I can swim a river.**

 **Allen:**

 **I used to be a diver.**

 **Lavi:**

 **I can knit a sweater.**

 **Allen:**

 **I could fill it better.**

 **Lavi:**

 **I can do most anything.**

 **Allen:**

 **Can you bake a pie?**

 **Lavi:**

 **No…**

 **Allen:**

 **Neither can I.** (Everyone except for Allen fell because of how blunt he was being.)

 **Lavi:**

 **Anything you can sing I can sing sweeter.**

 **Allen:**

 **I can sing anything sweeter than you.**

The cafeteria suddenly went dark, a lone light shone upon Lavi as he gracefully spun around on in the centre. People watched with bated breath of what they were about to hear.

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

The same thing happened with Allen, the light was turned off on Lavi and shone onto Allen. Revealing him as stunning with his white hair and pale skin with the equally white eyelashes fluttering.

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can.**

Now two lights shone on them and the people watching were admiring how beautiful their voices are as they sang.

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can.**

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't,**

 **Allen:**

 **Oh yes, I can.**

The lights combined into a larger spotlight, as Lavi and Allen started what appears to be a heated singing competition trying to outsang the other.

 **Lavi:**

 **No you can't, can't, can't!**

 **Allen:**

 **Yes, I can, can, can!**

 **Lavi/Allen:**

 **No you can't~. /Yes I can~.**

The whole Order gave them their applause for their wonderful singing, Allen was surprised with how many people were watching them but Lavi just bowed to his wonderful audience. He straightens up and was about to make a remark to Allen when all of the sudden he spotted Bookman in front of the audience but just a few step behind Allen.

Lavi laughed nervously when Bookman was walking towards him, he was planning to sprint into the crowd to try to escape Bookman's clutches and find sanctuary somewhere else. Just as he turned his back, he felt someone having a tight grip on his back shirt. He turned and saw Allen's smiling innocently at him. Lavi's blood ran cold when he could practically see the devil horns sprouting from Allen's head and the dark aura coming from him.

"Where did you think you are going, Lavi~? Bookman seems to be needing your help and didn't you say that you could do most anything?" And so Lavi whined while being dragged by his feet by Bookman and seeing the smug look on Allen's face. Link passed by them and stuck a small note on his forehead while passing. Lavi took it and read the words on it, he looked up and saw Link almost smiling down at him while Allen waved at him.

Lavi wailed while clawing the ground, not wanting to be dragged by Bookman to somewhere to be locked up until he finished his assignments.

The note was then left on the ground, 'Bookman just received 10 different history books from Central to interpret all the coded meaning and has to hand in tomorrow. Good luck.' was written neatly on it. Needless to say, Lavi wasn't getting any sleep sooner or later.


End file.
